Not only, but also . . .

This is one of my favourite poems. As it's difficult, if not impossible to read I've typed it out here:

"I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all."

I always thought this was by Elizabeth Barrett Browning but when I looked it up it is credited to Roy Croft.

Ginko Road


Great Wave

Heart's Delight

I came across the term 'Emotional Warrior' in a book by Claude Steiner called Emotional Literacy: Intelligence with a Heart.
From the intro:
Emotional literacy is a source of personal power indispensable for success in today’s world. The following five essential, thoroughly time-tested assertions must be understood to appreciate this work’s scope:

1. Emotional literacy is love-centered emotional intelligence.

2. Loving (oneself and others) and being loved (by oneself and others) are the essential conditions of emotional literacy.

3. The capacities of loving and accepting love, lost to most people, can be recovered and taught with five precise, simple, transactional exercises.

4. In addition to improving loving skills, emotional literacy training involves three further skills of increasing difficulty; each one is supported by a further set of transactional exercises.

5. These skills are:

a. Speaking about our emotions and what causes them,

b. Developing our empathic intuition capacity, and

c. Apologizing for the damage caused by our emotional mistakes.

Practice of these specific transactional exercises in personal relationships at home with friends and at work with others, will, over time, produce increased emotional literacy.

With these exercises you can become a more loving person, a person who feels love toward people and is able to love passionately in a sustained way—a person who is able to be affectionate with friends and friendly with others. You will be better able to recognize, express, and control your emotions; you will realize when you are angry or joyful, ashamed or hopeful, and you will understand how to make your feelings known in a productive manner. You will become more empathic and will recognize the emotional states of others and respond to them compassionately. You will be able to take responsibility for the emotional damage caused by your mistakes and apologize for them effectively. Instead of undermining and defeating you, your emotions will empower you and enrich your life and the lives of those around you.

Suzanne Ciani

I have loved the music of Suzanne Ciani for many years but over the past four years or so she has made my life worth living. Five years ago I developed End Stage Renal Failure and it became necessary to undergo four hours of dialysis three times a week. I found the noise of the machines and the constant chatter of the nurses and other patients intolerable. Forced to lie still while my blood was drained and pumped back in continuously, I tried hard to 'switch off' using meditation techniques - without success. Then I invested in a pair of Bose noise reducing headphones and began listening to Suzanne's beautiful music. It lulls me into a dreamlike state where I can forget the chaos around me - in fact I often fall asleep. So, far from spending this time agitated and miserable, I now feel relaxed and come away feeling refreshed.

"Suzanne Ciani is a composer, recording artist, and pioneer in the field of electronic music and sound design. She is best loved for her eleven albums of original music which feature her performances in a broad array of expressions: pure electronic, solo piano, piano with orchestra, and piano with jazz ensemble. Her music, reknowned for its romantic, healing, and aesthetic qualities, has found a rapidly growing international audience, and her performances include numerous benefits for humanitarian causes."
reference:
http://www.sevwave.com/

Samples of her music can be found at:
http://www.sevwave.com/ciani/MP3%27s.htm

Some of my favourites are:
http://www.sevwave.com/ciani/sounds/velocity/03volove.mp3
http://www.sevwave.com/ciani/sounds/turning/04yangmi.mp3
http://www.sevwave.com/ciani/sounds/live/13invern.mp3

oops - forgot to add the picture reference:
http://www.sevwave.com/ciani_gallery/freezeframe/photos/BWSUZBigEyes.jpg

Briggy's Gate

I did this about a month ago. I went to stay with Briggy up in Northumberland. It is so beautiful there - this is the gate at the back of her house overlooking Kielder Water. The lake surrounds the house on three sides - I took loads of photos. Mmmm . . . I was going to draw more of them . . . could this be the inspiration I've been looking for?

I forgive myself . . .

I open this page to write and am immediately hit by . . . what the hell is that? sort of a freeze, of body and mind. My hands stiff, claw-like above the keys . . .
As they say - it's all in the title: Forgiveness is easier to get than permission! I think I've always seen that as something to get from other people but now I'm beginning to see that it's also about me giving permission to me! I just need to remember that I can just as easily forgive myself for writing something stupid, or not writing for months or indeed ever again!
Anyway, the reason I thought to write today was . . . what? It was something very specific. Obviously I spent so much time rattling on that now I can't remember what the inspiration was . . .
Lack of inspiration is a theme at the moment - I haven't drawn for over a week, definitely getting withdrawal pangs, but I just can't do it. Yesterday was "Drawing Day" - an attempt to get more people drawing on line. I managed to scribble something for RateMYDrawings but when I went in to see it there was a message to say it had been removed! Well that was just the encouragement I needed (not).
I consoled myself by playing on Qbesq and uploading a couple to Ginkgo just to prove that I did something - maybe I should put them on here . . .


and another . . .



I wonder if I delete the original from my computer the image will still post?

Why, yes it does - that's interesting . . . I thought I had to keep the originals either on the drawing site or my computer . . . (mind working, gears grinding - very slowly). Obviously the little I thought I knew about website design isn't even accurate.

Interview with God

Inspired by
http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

Happy New Year

a bit late, I know.
I am amazed at how easily I forget things. I'd really like to put all my drawings from Sketchfu on here so I can scan through them easily. It's fascinating how my skill has developed since I started - and the changes in direction!